I’ve been hearing this a lot lately. Marriage was beautiful, healthy, and perfect. Then came women and their bra-burning liberation. Apparently, feminism broke marriage. Feminism is the reason for divorce, for unhappiness, for all marital woes.
Wait, really? Seriously?
Let’s start with some basic definitions here. Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. I don’t know where that definition is from, but it’s the one used by every feminist I know. It’s a straightforward idea, and one that seems perfectly compatible with an all knowing God who created men and women in the first place. God created us just as worthy, just as loved, and just as flawed. We’re just people.
Marriage is a union between two flawed people. People have always been imperfect, and I suspect marriage has been as well. Divorce rates may be higher now, and part of that can be attributed to women having more resources as a divorcee than they had ‘before the revolution’. Divorce is not the result of the breakdown of marriage, but of the ability of abusive marriages to end.
Marital rape wasn’t a crime (in Colorado at least) until 1986. Well after the feminists’ ‘attack’ on marriage. Until then, in that state, a married woman could not legally be raped by her husband. Physically, she could. But she would have no recourse. Spousal abuse wasn’t prosecuted and police didn’t respond to requests for help from battered women until recently. The feminist movement brought about these changes.
So, somebody help me understand this. When, exactly, were the glory days of holy matrimony? Was it when one person was being abused and unable to leave? When she was, essentially, there against her will? Is that when marriage was as God intended?
If your marriage is no good unless someone is there involuntarily, you’re doing it wrong. Feminism didn’t damage marriage, it just freed victims from living in bondage.
I am a feminist. My husband is a feminist. Recognizing that each of us has value under God equally has not separated us from God, but brought us closer in a truer understanding of making two into one. Instead of diminishing our relationship, feminism has enhanced it. We’re both working to make our lives fit together better, to make our union more glorifying to God. That isn’t possible if one person is ‘less than’ or if one person’s consent is unnecessary. The point at which one person is less capable or less valuable is the point at which marriage is no longer a union. It ceases to be a joining and begins to be a possession.
But God never intended that. And I will not let marriage in our legal system or social consciousness be lowered back to that miserable failure. And that is one reason I am a feminist.
***Sorry this post is a bit disjointed, this topic has been driving me nuts lately so I finally posted it thought I don’t have time to give it the thought and editing it deserves.