A Peaceful, Happy Home Thanks to My Kids’ Blue Balls

“The balls have done just as much, if not MORE, to change my behavior as they’ve done with my kids. I’m so invested in helping them keep their balls, that I find I’m more willing to take the time to help them figure out better ways to handle their disagreements, frustrations, and/or self destructive willfulness. We ALL want the balls to stay in the jars, so when things get heated or tense, I just remind my sons of their balls . . . and everyone chills out enough to think about the best way to stay on track.”

via A Peaceful, Happy Home Thanks to My Kids’ Blue Balls.


She’s found something that (so far) works really well for her home, and she’s recognizing the impact it’s had on her as well.  This is so encouraging!  As much as I want to stay away from conditional parenting tools, I love that for the last 4 days, she’s been able to build and reinforce habits as a parent that she’s proud of, and that her kids have had the same 4 days of practice.  At some point, ping pong balls aren’t gonna cut it for controlling the behavior of her kids, but even if she dumped the ball system today, she and her kids would be starting with a new outlook and a new (renewed) relationship.


I love it.


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4 responses to “A Peaceful, Happy Home Thanks to My Kids’ Blue Balls

  1. I was intrigued by your title and didn’t expect those kinds of balls. LOL
    We have balls here too. 🙂
    But we use them differently.
    (the daughter I mention has only been home for 8 months. Not that long when the post was made) .

  2. We use marbles. Our 3 year old daughter has a small mason jar of decorative marbles in our living room, and she gains marbles when we “catch” her being kind, controlling impulses, using her words, etc. She loses marbles for blatant disrespect, breaking the few hard-line rules we have in the house, etc. I, too, shy away from conditional parenting as much as possible, but for our sweet girl, the marble jar really has been effective in getting her to focus on controlling her impulses. I see more development of pride in her accomplishments and enjoying the marbles she earns than disappointment or hurt when she loses a marble. . . so I don’t see it being a detrimental thing. As she gets older, if the marbles still work for her, maybe we’ll make it more of a consensual living type of activity and have marble jars for mommy and daddy, too! Oh boy. . . 🙂

  3. Gosh, I wish I would have had that iniromatfon earlier!

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